i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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