everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
