so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
