we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
