Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
