She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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