Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I want to fling myself into the sun
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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