pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
