It's like God shit irony all over that family
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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