first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What a dumb baby whore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize