Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
