so explain again why im purple
no
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
