I bet he comes in French.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
