VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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