That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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