did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
