It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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