EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
