I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
