The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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