Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sorry my hands just texted you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
