Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
