she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
