Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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