My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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