There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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