I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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