Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
