Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize