turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
