your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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