i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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