her vagine was all disorganized.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
