I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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