chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
