Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
