Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
