btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
