He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
