I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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