HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
