I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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