bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So much rum. So many feels.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
