Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
