You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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