Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
