my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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