so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your penis caused this!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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