Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
