we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
