is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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