they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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