What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
