I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
