After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
