You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
