Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
