we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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