When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize