why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
