remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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