I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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