It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
