so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
