seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
