He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
