You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
