Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
me + whiskey = a bad person
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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