So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
