i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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