If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
