She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You ate ashes out of my bong
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
