Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
