I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
